Dad's demise
by brauer83
Summary: Harold gets sick and passes away, later his ghost comes back and haunts his own house. I got the idea from when my own dad passed away recently. It takes place slightly after "Marriage with the enemy". MAJOR KxK later in the story, so don't judge me! lol
1. Chapter 1

It happened just an ordinary day at the Buttowski's. Honey was cleaning the house, Kick was playing "Tony Hawk" on his Gamebox, Brad was out trying to pick up chicks "the Brad way" as in "the WRONG way", Brianna was in the garage practicing for her upcoming live show and Harold was watching a ball game on TV. Suddenly, he felt a slight tingle in his chest.

Harold: Ow!

Honey: Something wrong honey?

Harold: It's nothing, just a little cramp.

But after a while the pain got bigger.

Harold: OW!

Honey: Honey, you sure you're alright?

Harold: I'm fine!

Honey: It doesn't sound fine to me, I'm calling an ambulance.

She grabbed the phone and dialed the number to the hospital.

Harold: What do you think you're doing?

Honey: Look you're obviously not feeling well, I'm taking you to the hospital!

Harold: No...no, you'll never catch me alive!

Honey started chasing Harold around the house unsucsessfully. Finally the ambulance arrived outside the house.

Driver: Somebody called for an ambulance?

Honey: Yes I did! You've gotta take a look at my husband, he's not feeling good!

Driver: Okay then, where is he?

Honey: He's in the house. Do you mind helping me catch him? He's more stubborn than my son!

The driver sent two male nurses into the house to try and catch Harold, who've hidden behind the grandfather clock. The nurses eventually caught him, but he ran away. The nurses ran after him, but just then Harold got a heartattack.

Harold: AAAHHHHHHH!

Honey: HAROLD!

Kick: Mom what's with the racket, I've almost beaten my high score!

Honey: Your father has had a heartattack, we've gotta take him to the hospital!

Kick: Aw biscuits! Bri, get Brad, we gotta get dad to the clinic!

Brianna: Right away bro!

Harold: I'm...not...sick!

Honey: Maybe so, but we're gonna have the doctor look at you anyway!

Harold: Alright fine, but no needles, I hate needles!

Kick: You guys go ahead, I'll be with you soon!

"I've gotta tell Kendall and Gunther about this" he thought. He knocked on Kendall's door but no one answered. He knocked again but no answer. Then he de decided to break down the door. He took a big step backwards, then charged at the door as fast as he could. Just then, Kendall opened it, and before Kick could stop he ran past Kendall, through the back door and landed in the pool in the backyard filled with water. Kendall hurried to check on him.

Kendall: Oh my god Clarence what you doing down there?

Kick: What am I doing? What are YOU doing not answering the door, too tired or something!?

Kendall: Yes, Ronaldo's been keeping me up all night with his stupid excuses of him and me getting back together!

Kick: Oh I'm so sorry, I didn´t know!

Kendall: It's ok! So what ARE you doing here?

Kick: You've gotta come with me to the hospital, my dad has had a heart attack!

Kendall: Oh, oh god! Now I'M so sorry!

They both blushed and smiled at each other as Kendall helped Kick out of the pool.

Kendall: God Kick, you stink! We're just having the pool cleaned!

Kick: I guess that's the price I have to pay for breaking down doors, huh!

Kick pulled out his iPhone and called Gunther.

Kick: Gunther meet me at the hospital ASAP!

Gunther: Sure thing Kick! (sniff sniff) What's that stench?

Kick: Let's just say that I had a morning bath!

Kick looked at Kendall who looked coyly back at him, as they continued along the road to the hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

Gunther was waiting outside the hospital when Kick and Kendall arrived. Kick rode in on his "Ol' Blue" wearing his usual white outfit with blue stripes covered with white stars. Kendall wore her new purple outfit with yellow lightning bolts and her green roller blades on her feet. They stopped right in front of Gunther.

Gunther: Glad you guys are here, what's with all the commotion?

Kick: Gunther, my dad is singing his last song!

Gunther: Hey I didn't know your dad sings, he's gonna join the choir?

Kick: No I mean he planted his last potato!

Gunther: He's gonna be a farmer too? I love potatoes!

Kick: NO, HE WALKED HIS LAST MILE!

Gunther: That's ok, he can just take his ca-I mean "Monique".

Kick: (facepalm) Urgh!

Kendall: (To Kick) I'll handle this, babe. (To Gunther) Gunther, remember your pet?

Gunther: Sure, Guinea Pig, why?

Kendall: You remember what happened to him?

Gunther: Sure he got sick and died so we flushed him down the toilet! (gasp) You mean...?

Kick and Kendall nodded.

Gunther: ...we gotta flush Kick's dad down the toilet?

Kick: What no he's real sick and he might die!

Gunther: Wait what he's dying, why didn't you just tell me?

Kick: (another facepalm) Uhhhh, biscuits...!

Gunther: What are we gonna do?

Kendall: Look just stay calm, all we gotta do is find out which room he's in! (pinching her nose) But first, Kick, you really gotta take a shower, P-U!

Kick: Well none of this would've happened if SOMEONE just opened her front door this morning, Kendall!

Gunther: Stop it, the both of you! Kick, your dad is in room #12D, just go take a shower and we'll meet you there ok?

Kick went to look for a shower he could borrow, but the only showers were in the toilets of the patient's rooms. Did he really dare to sneak in and use a random patient's shower? Of course, he's Kick Buttowski after all! Then he noticed an empty room with a shower and everything. He sneaked into the toilet, closed and locked the door. Finally he could be alone for a while, or so he thought. He removed his jumpsuit, his clothes and even his helmet and swayed his brown messy hair. As he showered, he could hear some people talking outside, they were rolling in a patient in the room Kick was in. "Biscuits" he thought. "If I'm quiet they may not notice me!". The patient noticed that someone was using the bathroom and pressed the call button.

Mysterious patient: Nurse! Someone is using my bathroom, get here immediately!

The big, strong nurse tried the door but it was locked, so she decided to break in the door. Well inside, they found Kick butt naked in the shower. Then Kick got a good look at the patient, it was Mrs. Chicarelli.

Chicarelli: Clarence Buttowski!

Kick: Mrs. Chicarelli, I can explain...!

Chicarelli: Oh there'll be plenty of time to explain in court! Nurse, get this hooligan out of my room!

Kick grabbed a towel and Ol' Blue and raced out of the room, followed by the angry nurse. As he ran through room 12D, Kendall and Gunther noticed him and followed to the rescue. "Oh Clarence, what have you gotten me into this time?" Kendall thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Kendall and Gunther followed the trail of Kick and the nurse to the end of one of the corridors of the hospital. Then Kick noticed Kendall and Gunther standing right behind the nurse who herself stepped on a big rug lying on the floor. Kick winked at his friends who winked back, but Gunther got stuck in the winking.

Gunther: (whispering) Aw man I got stuck winking again!

Kendall: Shh!

Nurse: Haw haw, nowhere to run, hooligan!

Kick: Nope guess not! Seems like there's only one thing for me to do!

Then Kick removed the towel wrapped around his waist. The nurse covered her eyes screaming "AHHHHH MY EYES MY EYES I'M BLIND!" and Kick gave the signal for Gunther and Kendall to pull on the rug under the nurse's feet, making her fall on her ass. "Hey get back here, I'm not done with you hooligans yet!" she scoulded while chasing after Kick, Kendall and Gunther. Then Kick figured the only way to stop the nurse from chasing them was to knock her out. He jumped of Ol' Blue, kicked it in the nurse's direction, making it knock her out cold and sending her to the floor.

Kendall: Clarence that was...was...

Kick: I know, stupid and dangerous!

Kendall: No, it was-

Kick: Scary? Terrifying?

Kendall: TOTALLY AWESOME!

Kick: What really? You were pretty awesome yourself!

Kendall: No way, you did better!

Kick: No you did better!

Gunther: Uhh guys I hate to be the bad news bear, but aren't we forgetting something?

Kick and Kendall: Aw biscuits, DAD!

Gunther: Oh right, you might wanna do something about my tweaking eye first?

Kick sighed and snapped his fingers and Gunther's eye stopped tweaking. They hurried back to 12D where everyone was gathered around Harold's hospital bed.

Kick: DAD!

Harold: Who's there? (cough cough) Is that you...Monique?

Kick: What? No it's me, Kick, your son!

Harold: Oh of course, Kick...!

Honey was bubbling with anger and felt like she could strangle Harold out of his misery, "I can't believe after all this time he loved that stupid car more than me", she thought.

Honey: (calmed down) Hrrhrrrm, so where were you Kick?

Brad: Yeah dillweed, what gives? First Brianna comes and drags me away from the love of my life, now this!?

Kick: Long story guys! Dad I want you to meet someone, this is Kendall, your daugher-in-law!

Harold: What (cough) are you talking about?

Kick: We just got married last week, remember?

Harold: No sorry I don't?

Kick: Okay remember that snotty little girl I hated ever since kindergarten?

Kendall: (To Kick) Hey!

Kick: (whispering) Sorry hon, he just needs a little reminder!

Kendall: (whispering) Sure but you really have to remind him THAT way?

Harold: Oh wait NOW I remember, you two were the worst of enemies. Always stealing each others stuff and never gave it back unless you apologized for it. But by time you learned to appreciate each others good and bad sides, and last week you got married!

Kick and Kendall smiled at each other and almost kissed, but Kendall figured they'd save it for later (wink wink).

Harold: Kendall hon, come to me.

Kendall: What is it?

Harold: I want you to take extra special good care of that young man right there.

Harold pointed at Kick but Brad pushed him out of the way. Then Kick pushed back and so on and eventually they started fighting.

Kendall: (giggles) Don't worry I will!

Harold: Thanks schnooks.

And with that, Harold's light went out. Everyone sorrowed his death, especially Kendall.

Kendall: He called me "schnooks", just like my birth dad used to do! (crying) Ohohhh Dad, I'll never forget you!

Kick: Kendall you ok?

Kendall: (sniff) I'm fine I just...can't believe he's gone!

Kick: Yeah I know it hurts...right Mom?

Honey: Hmm?

Kick: I said "right Mom?"!

Honey: Uhhh yes of course! Would you please leave me and your dad alone for a minute?

Everyone walked out of the room, leaving Honey alone with Harold's body. Then she pointed her finger at him and said:

Honey: Ha! That's what you get for loving your car more than me! And just so you know, I hated that necklace you gave for our 60th anniversary, so I exchanged it! And you can't do anything about it now, 'cus you're dead!

She danced around the room, singing "you're deeeaaad, you're deeeaaad" over and over. When she was all danced out, she said "Alright that's enough killjoy" and she went out the door to join the others in the hall. When she was gone, Harold's ghost arised from his body and said "Oh really? WHAHA-HA-HAHA-hmm, I really need to work on my evil laugh!"


	4. Chapter 4

Kick, Gunther, Kendall and Mouth were hanging out at Kick and Gunther's hideout. Normally they don't invite people over, but they'd gotten very close friends over the past few years. Kick, Kendall and Mouth was drinking Cheetah Chug XE to get over the pain that Kick's dad left the world.

Kick: Meh, this is not helping!

Gunther: Maybe if I combine it with Choco Fizzies!

Kick: Gunther no!

Too late. Gunther ate some Choco Fizzies and added Cheetah Chug XE. Kick grabbed Kendall and Mouth's hands and hid behind the couch. "Clarence what-" was all Kendall could say before Kick hyshed her. Cheetah Chug XE and Choco Fizzies combined caused a big explosion which made Gunther lose his spleen.

Gunther: Hey fellas, one question: anybody seen my spleen anywhere?

Mysterious voice: Here it is, Gunther!

Gunther: Oh thank you, mysterious voice! AAAAHHHHHH!

Right in front of him, floating around, was the ghost of Harold Buttowski. Everone stood their ground, except for Mouth who got paniccy and ran off screaming like a little girl.

Gunther: A G-G-GHOST!

Kick: Everybody stand back! I know how to deal with ghosts, they used to call me "the fifth ghostbuster!".

Gunther: Funny, I thought they used to call you "the runtmaster of smellowbrook"!

Kick: Thanks for bringing THAT up!

Kick looked angrily at Kendall, who just raised her shoulders in answer.

Harold: Son, it's me!

Kick: D-dad? But you're a g-g-

Harold: Ghost? Pretty much, yes!

Gunther: Cool, I can see right through you! Heheh, that man down there just dropped a sock!

Papercut: Hey mind your own business, lil' girl! (gasp) A G-G-G-GHOST!? AAAAAHHHHHH!

Papercut ran off like was on fire.

Kendall: So how's this even possible? I thought when people die, they go to heaven. How is it that you came back down to earth?

Harold: Well they thought I deseved a second chance. If I can make a good deed they might send me back to the land of the living!

Kick, Kendall and Gunther looked at each other in confusion.

Gunther: I only got half of that!

Kendall: I still don't get how he's down here!

Kick: Dad, what the biscuits are you talking about?

Harold: (facepalm) URGH! Just make sure I don't do anything stupid, like scaring people, except your mom! Boy, I've been waiting to scare her for so long!

Kick: You just died yesterday.

Harold: Right but it feels like a long time!

Gunther Oh I love that song! "It's gonna be a be a long long time, before you-"mmffff!

Kick: Thanks Kends!

Kendall: No problem, I'm so sick of that song!

They rolled off into the city to find some people for Harold to help, which wasn't going to be that easy, whoever wants to help a ghost?


	5. Chapter 5

They stopped by Kick's house because Harold was eagered to see the look on Honey's face when she saw him. Inside, Honey was taking a break from cleaning the house. She couldn't help but sneaking a peek at the wedding photo of her and Harold. She held it in her hands and hugged it tight. "Ohhh Harold why did you have to die?" she cried. When Harold noticed, he couldn't help but feeling a little sorry.

Harold: Oh what am I doing? I can't scare her, even if she is a pain in the ass sometimes!

He floated out from hid hiding spot.

Harold: Honey I-

Honey: IIIIIIHHHHH! A G-G-GHOST!

Harold: (sigh) Honey let me just-

Honey: STAY AWAY DEMON!

Honey grabbed all the things she could find and threw them at him; magazines, huh that didn't work. The phone, hmm that worked a little bit. Then she grabbed the TV. "Now honey, don't do anything stupid!" Harold said. But with her strength she lifted the TV over her head and threw it at Harold. "Oh...no" he said just before it hit him, going down with a slam. Afterwards she said "Phew!" but stuck under the TV Harold said:

Harold: Honey would you mind lifting this thing off me?

Honey: How do I know you're really my husband?

Harold: Your birth name is Denise!

Honey: Everyone knows that!

Harold: (sniff sniff) Ahhhh I smell meat loaf, my favorite!

Honey: Harold? Harold it IS you! I missed you so much!

Harold: Yeah yeah now get this thing off me!

Honey: Oh right!

Honey lifted the TV off Harold's squished ghost and put it back in place. Kick, Kendall and Gunther rushed in wondering what was going on.

Kick: What's happening?

Honey: It ok, Kick! I just needed some time to get used to your father's new...style!

Harold: Yeah I couldn't scare her, she's my wife after all! Speaking of wives, Kick, you and your wife probably wanna be alone for a while? (wink wink)

Kick: What? Ohhhh I get it! Yes we do!

Harold: Atta boy, son! Make me proud!

Harold led Kick and Kendall upstairs and let them borrow his parents' room. He let Honey close the door behind them and said "good luck, ma boy".

Honey: Honey, you think it's wise leaving them alone?

Harold: Of course, the boy needs to learn how to become a man, the BUTTOWSKI WAY!

Back inside, Kick and Kendall sat down on the wide double bed.

Kendall: Well what do you suggest we do?

Kick: I suppose we could start on that kiss we never got to do earlier.

Kendall: Mmhmm, excactly what I thought...!

Kendall stroke Kick's leg and using her fingers she worked her way up to his hard chest. Kick started to become all sweaty and nervous.

Kick: Kendall...wh-what are you doing? Not that I'm complaining...!

Kendall: Just trying to be sexy for you! Why, am I doing it wrong?

Kick: No no no, I'm actually enjoying it! But why?

Kendall: Ever since you saved us all from that nurse at the hospital, I had to rethink some stuff about you. And I've decided that I want to have a baby with you, right here, right now!

Kick: NOW!? Well it IS a pretty good time for that...sure why not?

Kendall: Awesome! While at the hospital, I went in and bought some Valiums, it'll help us get in the mood!

She gave one pill to Kick and one to herself. They started to feel all cozy inside, removed all their clothes and laid down on the bed, Kendall laid her bare back facing the bed and Kick lay on top of her with his manly muscles facing her soft, elegant breasts. They smiled at each other as Kick slid his long, hard penis in and out of her warm, boiling vagina. "I love you so much, Kick" she said to him. "I love you even more, Kendall" he said back to her. Outside the door, Gunther couldn't help but peeking the keyhole, smiling and giggling. "That's my wingman!" he said.

Mysterious voice: Gunther what are you doing?

Gunther: IIIHHH! Oh, hi Mr. Buttowski! I was just checking if the door was securely locked, and it is, heheh,

Harold: Oookay...! Seriously can you guys stop screaming this whole time? Y'all acts like you've seen a GHOST!


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning Kick woke up to the sounds of the nightingale and the biggest smile on his face, next to Kendall's naked body. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep, Kick didn't have the heart to wake her up. He just got dressed, put on his jumpsuit and walked downstairs, closing door behind him carefully. At the breakfast table, everyone was waiting for him to come down the stairs and tell them the big news.

Brad: Whaddaya think it'll be, a boy or a girl?

Brianna: I'm hoping for a girl, 'cuz then I'd have someone to join the band!

Brad: No way, it's gonna be a boy. I'd finally have someone to pick up chicks with! (huh huh) YEAH BRAD!

Gunther: I don't care what is as long as it's a PERSON! Stunting with my toaster is not fun anymore!

Honey: Shh, he's coming!

When Kick arrived at the breakfast table, everyone was giving him wide, hopefully eyes.

Kick: What?

Harold: There's my man, I'm so proud of you! Well?

Kick: Well what? Ohhh yeah, We totally made a baby last night!

Honey: (happy tears) Ohoh my little baby, growing up so fast! I'm so happy I-I dont know what to do!

Kick: Mom easy! It's not like it's the first baby of the family! Remember when you guys first had Brianna and me?

Honey: How could we forget? You two were no easy task!

Harold: (sigh) Good times! Seems like this one will be growing up without a grandfather, though!

Just then, Kendall came down the stairs.

Kendall: Good morning, Clarence...!

Kick: Mmm? Oh hi Kends...

Kendall: What the matter, honeycakes? You don't look too good.

Harold: I know what it is! He's sad because I'll be going away soon!

Kendall: What do you mean daddy?

Harold: I'll be going back up to heaven, turns out they need me there.

Kendall: Oh no! For how long?

Harold: Possibly forever, it's hard to tell!

Kick What? Dad no, don't leave me...uh...us!

Harold: Sorry son, that's how it's gonna have to be!

Kick: NO!

Kick hugged Harold's legs tight and refused to let go, repeatedly crying "Dad don't leave me please don't". Just then, Kick woke up from his dream. "NOOOOO!" he screamed as he opened his eyes and realized it was all just a crazy dream. "It was all a dream, just a crazy dream!" He said, becoming both happy and dissapointed at the same time, thinking he never had sex with Kendall. But right now he didn't care 'cus it was all just a dream. He rushed down to his parent's room to check if everything was back to normal. In the bed Harold laid, alive and kickin', well alive anyhow, snoring away. Next to him, his wife Honey, desperately covering her ears from Harold's loud snoring.

Kick: DAD!

Harold: Huhbahwhatawhatisgoingon! Oh Kick!

Kick: Dad you're alive!

Harold: I am?

Kick: I've never been so happy to see you!

Harold: That's all good son, now please let me go back to sleep, I need to work in the morning!

Kick: Sure no problem, sweet dreams!

Harold: Honey remind me to have that boy's head checked in the morning!

Honey: Hmm?

Kick rushed over to Kendall's to check if she was all right. She opened the door yawning.

Kendall: Clarence? What are you doing here, it's 3 AM!

Kick: I just had the wierdest dream, our dad died and came back as a ghost, and you and I were making a baby and-

Kendall: Hold it! You woke me up just to tell me about some crazy dream? Wait did you say "ghost"?

Kick: Yeah why?

Kendall: Oddly enough, I had the same dream! It all started when you fell down my pool...!

And Kendall told the whole story back to Kick, as if she were in it too.

Kendall: ...You saved us all from that nurse...

This could take a while.

Kendall ...Then daddy came back as a ghost...

A LONG while.

Kendall: ...We had the most amazing sex...

Blah blah blah...

Kendall: ...He said he was going away, and that's when I woke up!

Kick: Sounds crazy right?

Kendall: Still, pretty real...

Kick: Huh?

Kendall: Listen!

Kick laid his ear against Kendall's belly.

Kick: Hey I can hear something moving around in there! Is that...?

Kendall: ...Our baby, yes!

Kick: What? How did this happen?

Kendall: You remember me saying I had the same dream as you? Well when we got to the sex part my real body felt so infected that you knocked me out for real!

Kick: Woah that's...unbelievable!

Kendall: But true!

Kick: You're AWESOME, Kends!

Kendall: You gonna tell our parents the happy news?

Kick: When I'm ready! I'm pretty tired, night sugar!

Kendall: But it's breakfast time! Clarence? Clarence get back here! (groan) Boys!

**THE END!**


End file.
